Guys, it’s been a real roller coaster of a day. We all woke up without a lot of grace for each other. I won’t lie, I was 80% of the problem.
The day definitely did not improve with the news of school being done for the year and the other new steps put in place to try decrease the flood of patients to hospitals. Let me be clear, I am in favor of all restrictions to stem this tide. But, being in favor of it does not mean that it’s not hard. This season of waiting and isolation feels so very reminiscent of my first postpartum experience. When you weren’t sure if life would ever go on as it did before. And, then you realized it wouldn’t. It would always be different. You would find yourself again, but you too would be different. I feel like that will be true of this as well. I am hopeful that we will all grow in healthy ways through this, but I also know we will lose some people we love. I think about how much this is impacting this generation we are raising and what kind of scars they will carry forward. My girls are taking this all very hard. Their emotions are up and down. And it doesn’t help that mine are as well. I just can’t always be patient and gracious with their behavior. Sometimes I’m unkind in my need to not have to deal with them. But, you know what? We’re all just figuring this crazy mess out. I'm so very grateful that this is how they ended the day, together, reading (not fighting...and no, my 4 year old doesn't know how to read). It feels like a little redemption in the midst of all this loss. I have a deep and abiding hope in something that is bigger than our confusion, our pain, our sickness and morality. But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the hurt of all these things. Being aware, informed and feeling the tension of this time does not mean that you have abandoned your beliefs. It does not mean your faith is weak. My faith is in a God who can hold all of this. My faith is not that I will survive unharmed or live a comfortable life. Of course, I'm human and I hope for and ask for that. But, I know that is not what the Lord promises. He promises himself and himself alone. I have concern for the constant rhetoric of people telling us not to fear. It’s true, we should not have fear. I think it’s important to note that, yes, the Bible tells us not to fear or worry more than any other exhortation. But, I think something we miss in that is that Good knows us so much better than we know ourselves. Maybe he tells us that over and over because he knows we live in a broken world and he knows things will make us fearful and anxious. He knows we need to hear it from him hundreds of times in multiple ways. It’s a reminder that he knows us and loves us and does not desire these things for us. It is not a condemnation on us if we have worries; it’s a reminder to bring those to him and enter into the causes of our worry WITH him. I worry (yes, I said it) that this emphasis on "not worrying" will make those who already struggle with anxiety on a regular basis feel that they are not valid. That their concerns make them weaker or not faithful enough or that it's just another mental health issue they (we) have to solve. So, maybe instead of saying "I'm not worried" or "We should not worry because we have the Lord." We should say, "I know that you are worried, that makes sense. Let's turn to the Lord together in this and seek Him to help give us peace." Not an answer, not an invalidation of people's legitimate concerns as we all approach this very new reality. I am also hopeful that this period of time we are in could bring a lot of us to a place where we do learn what it means to truly not fear. So, let's do this thing together. We are for sure not alone, even when we're apart. ReplyForward
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Babies, man. AMIRIGHT? I am finding it amusing that to talk about naps for the 2 and under set, I have written 3 blog posts so far and have at least 2 more ahead. I mean, if someone dedicated time to 5 blog posts about naps for 24 months of my life that would be AMAZING! This window of 9-12 months also starts at the beginning of 9 months and ends at the beginning of 12 months. The next post will address the world of the 12-18 monther. But, 9 months is where I found myself feeling more in a groove and beginning to see what all the fuss about procreation was. Your little nugget may be working on crawling, and while moving has its own challenges, I always felt like my kiddos were happier and more engaged as they started making these strides. Now, my kids all started crawling after 9 months, but another topic for another day. As you head into 9 months, your baby’s wake window is about 3-3.5 hours. This is the first time we see variation in the wake window and that reflects that they are not automatons any longer. This is where you may start to see your baby differ more and more from other babies her age. As long as you are hitting milestones and working with your pediatrician, this is all very, very normal. To me, it feels they are becoming their own baby person. Maybe they’re baby tweens. They are certainly in between being a baby and being a toddler. So, let’s call this very tiny time period bweens. So, your bween may increase his wake window to 4-5 hours by 11 months! That’s like half a work day. Go ahead and get his work permit. JK. Don’t do that, it’s a bad idea. But, around this same time of 11 months, you can consider moving from 2 naps to 1 depending on how your bween is handling life. Their daytime sleep goes from 3 hours at 9 months to 2.5-3 hours at 11 months (yeah, not a big change), to 2 hours at 12-18 months (there’s your preview to the next post). During this window, their total 24 hours sleep remains at 12-15 hours. That will drop to 11-14 hours at 12-18 months (I know, your head is spinning with the dramatic drop-off). If you cut back from 2 to 1 nap during this time frame, please do not forget to MOVE BEDTIME EARLIER. Otherwise, you will have a cranky bween in the evening and early morning bean the next day. So, this is not going to address the 4 month sleep “regression”/adjustment/transition, whatever people are calling it. I have deep feelings about this age and this “regression” (you can see where my loyalties lie). It’s another whole blog post. But, for right now, I will say, four months is a great time to get rid of all the things you don’t love about sleep. You’re already going to be dealing with some things, you may as well get something out of it! Four months is typically the recommended starting age for sleep training (I say “typically” because some sweet nuggets can start as early as 3 months, but that is up to the pediatrician and the parent). If you are working on night sleep, you can postpone working on nap sleep until that is under control. But, I don’t mean postpone for months, I mean for a couple of weeks while you work on night sleep. The main thing you need to remember is have a plan and STICK TO THE PLAN. That’s pretty much it. You’re welcome, goodnight. Oh, what is the plan? Oh, right….um, depends. And this, by the way, is the crux of why I do what I am now doing. Because a lot of the time, IT DEPENDS. So, some babies are doing 3 naps a day during this window. And, some need/are transitioning to 2. It depends on your needs. Who is caring for your kiddo during the daytime hours is a huge component to what your baby needs for their schedule. If you are home and have the time/flexibility, then keeping three naps until 9 months is great. But, if you need to move your little nugget forward, then how do you do that? This will not give you all the answers, because that would be a VERY long blog post and I am against that. So, this will be the guidelines and some tips and if this is unsatisfying or you need a different plan, let’s chat because this is not meant to be a fit in or fall down situation. This is parenting, and it is wide open. At 4 months, your baby’s wake window (about how long your baby can tolerate being awake at one time) is 2 hours, it increases by 15 minutes every month until 9 months when it is between 3 & 3.5 hours. Using these wake windows as a guide can be instrumental to getting your baby on a good sleep schedule. It should help you prevent the sweet nugget from being so tired when you’re trying to put him down that he can’t get himself to sleep. And remember, sometimes they start out tolerating the full wake time in the morning, but by evening they have trouble hitting that mark. Maximum daytime sleep during this window starts at 4 hours at 4 months and decreases to 3 hours at 8 and 9 months. The total 24 hour sleep stays constant at 12-15 hours, so seeing a decrease in daytime sleep should mean an increase in nighttime sleep. The REALLY BIG thing to remember as you adjust your baby’s nap schedule is that as you cut down on number of naps and amount of sleep during the day, you NEED TO MOVE BEDTIME EARLIER. This may be just for the transition, a few weeks, but your baby may love this earlier bedtime and you may start seeing later mornings as well. And who doesn’t love more time to drink your coffee (or sleep)? |
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June 2020
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